Sundays Ain't For Church No Mo'

Growing up in Poochie Belle's and Grandma Haystack's houses, Sundays were for church! Poochie and Grandma would pick out my clothes and them night before. Since I was assigned male at birth of course I had a fresh hair cut and a fresh suit. My uncles and aunts would help decide which cologne to wear in. particular "Cool Water." They would help me review the scriptures I had to read, my holiday speeches, even the songs I would lead in the choir.

While I've held a wide range of church hats: from choir member to pastor, I held church dear to my heart. There was nothing like walking into the sanctuary and hearing the choir sing one of my favorite songs before the youth choir had their chance to sing. If it was a Sunday where I'd lead sing, I made sure to be authentic and as sincere as possible. Of course there was homophobia and bullying for being an obviously queer child and dealing with hating myself until my junior and senior years in college.

From 2008 until 2022 I found myself at a crossroads. The 2008 Obama era was the catalyst for me deconstructing as the church I was in was very homophobia and surprisingly anti-Black. I started recognizing political and white supremacist ideals that were deeply embeded into American Christianity. I also began embracing my Blackness more. That also spurred my transition to the woman I am. in 2010 I joined the affirming church movement and pastored a while. Then , in 2018 I moved to DC to help a pastor.

That move to DC almost hindered my transition until I said I had enough. I also fell victim to sociopathic pastors that used and discarded not only me but other innocent individuals. After being exploited and finding myself homeless without the church's help, I came to the conclusion that Sundays ain't for church no mo.'

In 2022, I decided to restructure my Sundays and create my own path in spirituality and self care.

I began reading tarot, fully practicing yoga, and going for a good morning run. I would listen to some good COGIC preaching or a good Black podcast. Hell I even listened to the Beyoncé's "Renaissance," album and Durand Bernarr's "Wanderlust" album.

Let's fast forward to the present....

Sunday's still ain't for church. It's an October Sunday afternoon and my atheist self is listening to "Lady Tramaine Hawkins sing her 2007 remake of her hit "I Need You." As the songs emotion climbs higher and higher, I'm climbing higher and higher while I puff on freshly rolled blunt.

I reminisce on the good days in church and getting ready on Sunday mornings. Memories of my grandma and departed loved ones flow in atmosphere. I relive church performances and various sermons I've preached over the years. I am thankful that Sundays ain't for church no mo. I am thankful that I no longer tie myself to an unreasonable commitment.

Sundays are for doing whatever you want to do! Sundays are for resting and relaxing. If you want to indulge in mature activities on Sunday then that's fine. If you choose to go to church or some religious meeting that's okay, but as for me and my house Sundays ain't for church no mo.